you draw me closer to love...

My car could be called old-faithful. He always started when I wanted it to, he took me where I needed to go, and there was always enough room to drive one more person. Even though it had one million miles on it, and was one million years old, I would never trade him for anything.

However, I definitely failed him. On Monday, I drove on some ice and totaled him. Peace out old-faithful.. it was nice knowing you.

Now, my beat up jalopy is definitely no where near Jesus, but there is a slight parallel :) ...

Jesus is always there for me. He doesn't ask for anything and is faithful. But there are more than enough situations where I ignore him, or think I know the better way. In a way, I slip on ice some times with situations. The difference in Jesus and my SUV? Jesus never leaves. I don't put Jesus on a tow truck and watch him go.. Jesus is the one who I may have neglected, and I may have done things the way I wanted to, but Jesus is always there picking up the pieces of my totaled heart.

What has God been teaching me through this?

1. Situations occur in my life that are to be used for HIS GLORY.

This semester, things have happened that I wish never had. I am definitely the type of person who can put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine.. but on the inside I am definitely not. Time after time, I tried to deal with the situation myself, and instead of proclaiming the name of Jesus and how he was helping me get through the situation, no one even knew it was going on. Everyone just thought things were fine, and moved on, without knowing that Jesus should have been the victor and should have received the glory, but he didn't because no one knew.

For example, on Monday, when I totaled my car, I was embarrassed and wished no one would have found out.. but I definitely believe that no one can see God in situations that you don't tell them about. As hard as it is to be transparent and to show people that your life isn't perfect, in the end, its really not about you anyways. The car accident was the most God thing I have been through in a while.. His hand was all over it, and so many people said I shouldn't have walked away with only a few scratches. The car that I slid into on the bridge should not have been there, and I should have hit the wall and flown over.

one of my favorite pastors said, "God lets us go through situations so HE will be seen as the tender one--He always brings me back to Him" ....

God allows people to go through situations not so that people will have pity on them, but so that God will be seen as the tender one, as the comfort, as the only thing that will bring peace; He always brings us back to him.

It reminds me of one of my favorite songs, by Mat Kearney...

"You pull me out of the dark.. to show me the way..

you pull me closer to love."

God pulls us out of the dark just to show us the way, not that WE will be famous.. but HE will be famous. He pulls us closer to love. Closer to the unfailing love of Christ.

"But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on GOD, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us, on Him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us. As you help us by your prayers." 2 Corinthians 1:9-11

Lord, May I seek you. Show me your ways O Lord. teach me your paths, guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my savior and my hope is you all day long. May I never quit seeking you, and may I long to bring your name praise. At the end of the day, its never about me, but about how I can proclaim you. Keep pursing me, keep seeking me, and allow me to keep chasing hard after you. Lord I can't do anything without you, and you keep showing me that time after time, slippery ice after slippery ice. You are King of my life. May I not just believe in you.. but may I believe you. May I trust that you are working out things in my life for my good, and ultimately for yours.

life is a dance party

so we have been having nightly dance parties in the student center at the church.. and ive been loving it. even though i cant dance to save my life.. i have enjoyed being a 'gangsta' with my flat billed hat from walmart. we play tik tok and justin bieber on replay and just forget for a while that we have two tests in the morning and 8:00 classes. life is much simpler with dance parties thrown in, and its nice every once in a while to forget about the stresses of every day life.






here i go.. im fixing to get cheesy.. haha but Jesus is my dance party. i've been reading this book called knowledge of the holy, and its insane. tozer, the author, talks about how god is incomprehensible, and we can't even wrap our minds around his greatness. we try to make him tangible or think of him in our heads, but we cant even do that.




"left to ourselves we tend immediately to reduce god to manageable terms. we want to get him where we can use him, or at least know where he is when we need him... how can we christians satisfy our longing after him?"

how do we satisfy our longing for him? ... through jesus. jesus said that he is the only thing that satisfies, which is definitely something he has been teaching me. a boyfriend wont satisfy you, even if you think it will, or good grades, or even a trip to africa. Jesus, is the only thing that can satisfy that longing in our heart.

whats even cooler is:
that god can be known by our soul through a personal tender relationship with us, but at the same time remain infinitely aloof from the curious eyes of reason. its best summed up like this:

"god is darkness to intellect, but sunshine to the heart" --Frederick Fabe

god doesnt care that i figure everything out about him. he wants us just to know that we will never be able to understand his incomprehensible ways on earth. in the meantime, just rest in the beauty that is him. take a breath of fresh air beloved, he is saying, dont concern yourself with things too wonderful for you, let me take care of it.

may god give me a breath of fresh air, and realize that he is so holy and extravagant that my mind cant even wrap around it, but he desires to pursue me and have a personal relationship with me.







"let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for i have put my trust in you, show me the way i should go, for to you i lift up my soul" --psalm 143:8